Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The End of it All

I know that by now everyone else has probably finished.  Well, not me.  I'm still here, in my school, riding an emotional roller coaster.

On one hand I will be very glad to graduate.  I have been looking forward to this for a very long time.  I can't wait to get started with "real life". 

At the same time, being a real grownup seems a little scary too.  I've gotten used to being a student so there is going to be a lot of change this summer.

But the most prominent emotion I'm feeling right now is sadness.  Sadness that this phase of my life, career, education, etc., is ending.  Especially student teaching.

I love these kids so much.  I can't imagine what my days will be like when I stop coming in to school everyday.  Where will I get my fill of toothless smiles and goofy comments?  On top of that, this week is teacher appreciation week.  Getting flowers and adorable hand made cards and notes only seems to make me want to cry more.  One of my 1st graders even drew a portrait of me for the teacher mural that they do every year.  Today I started to say goodbye to the classes I wont see anymore this week.  It has been sad.  They have all been so sweet and genuinely happy for me that I am graduating, which makes me happy too.  They tell me that they'll miss me, I'm going to miss them too.

And I have grown very close with my mentor.  It will be even more strange for me to not see her every day.  She has been so unbelievably kind and welcoming and has helped me grow so much as a teacher.  I feel incredibly lucky to have gotten the chance to work with someone who is not only nice but who is as good at what they do as my CT is at teaching.  We have such a good time teaching and learning from each other, and often just sharing stories about classes or her sons and goofing around on the Internet looking for new material.  I also feel confident that I can turn to her when I have questions about my own future classes.

People keep reminding me that this is only the beginning, but this is also my first end of a school year.  Or, really more like my first round of goodbyes.  So I am just going to ride out all of these ups and downs and try to enjoy the last few days.  And also try not to cry in front of the kids.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Cause You Had a Bad Day

Tuesday was rough.

It started out poorly when I woke up and thought it was Friday. What a disappointment. I was so physically tired as well as mentally exhausted. This is probably too much information, but I forgot to put on deodorant. It was that kind of morning.

In all fairness my first few classes went well. 5th grade was antsy because they were going on a field trip to the symphony, but they were troopers and rolled with the lesson more or less as planned. 3rd grade went well too. The students were generating so much language about the pictures I felt like such a proud mama bear. I really have taught these kids so much more than I thought I could.

The day took a turn for the worse when I got to 1st grade. The first class was my "show-off" class, they are always trying to impress me and I love them to pieces. But even they were a little confused because I was still working out the kinks in my lesson. I worked with my CT during our break and tweaked a few of the things I was doing. Then when I got to the second class they were not ready for French. It took far too long to have them come to the carpet and settle down but after praising the few who were doing their jobs, things started to fall into place.

Do you all remember V? Well that same student I mentioned a while back was having a really hard time getting settled for class. Once things got going he kind of participated, though not sitting criss-cross I thought for him that was acceptable. A different boy, K, had a birthday over the weekend so we needed to sing happy birthday to him. At that point V flipped out and started being, excuse the rudeness, a tool. He was completely disrespecting K. So I sent V to his seat. Once he was there he started cursing. Nothing bad by adult standards, but no 6 year old child should be saying "damn that". My CT heard that and raised her voice very loudly and told him to get in the hall right away. Before leaving the room V flung his chair and threw the trashcan and recycling bin across the room.

At the end of our class I had to have a discussion with my students about making good choices. I kind of flubbed through what I wanted to say. My CT wanted it to come from me to mean more to the students. She guided me and helped me with the major points that needed to be discussed. I know that the more practice I have the more articulate I will become. The classroom teacher chimed in at the end as well and helped get the point across.

I feel badly for V because he is a good kid. But he has very poor skills when it comes to dealing with his emotions. Everything is unfair to him and he takes things very personally. But he's a bright kid so I want him to do well. And at the same time the rest of the students need to feel safe in the classroom. Having one of their classmates and friends curse or throw things makes them uncomfortable and affects their learning.

The last class of the day wasn't quite as dramatic but was also a disorganized mess. The classroom teacher was absent and the TA in that class has trouble managing the students on her own. I couldn't get through my lesson because of the time it took to get the students organized. They also needed to have a talk about respecting each other and behaving like good first graders. Not to mention that my computer also didn't hook up correctly to the SMART board.

So the day was a bit stressful and went longer than most days since we also had our last on campus seminar. But it ended on a good note with a letter.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

It's been strange coming back from spring break.

The first day back was rough because everyone was tired and forgot what it was like to be in school all day. Teachers included. I tried to play with them and those attitudes when I created my lessons though.

I taught fifth grade how to ask each other how break was. To make things more interesting and fun I had a few ridiculous reactions that we learned. The kids seemed to really get into that. And I made sure to recycle those expressions in the next lessons so that it wasn't a waste. The phrases I chose, like I went and I stayed (in French of course), too are interchangeable in other situations.

In third grade we got to hear a presentation from my puppet on her own spring break, she did go to Martinique after all. The students got really in to that as well. I had them just listening and repeating a lot in the first lesson and then by the next one introduced more interpretive reading activities.

The one kid that's been giving me trouble in first grade was even interested enough in the videos and virtual tour of Le Musée du Louvre that he forgot to act out, he thought about it in the beginning but changed his mind after the music caught him off guard.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Spring Fever

I don't know if any of you have ever been in an elementary school in the days leading up to spring break, or another major holiday, but I have to tell you it's bananas.

The students are all going nuts because they are itching to get outside and go play. The weather is so nice and the sun is out. And from the teacher's perspective that makes things difficult to teach. But at the same time, the teachers need a break just as much as the kids do. I know I plan to do a lot of work, of the planning and portfolio variety, over this next week.

One thing I learned over the past few days is to join the students and make the lessons work with the time of year. For instance, our puppet from 3rd grade has been missing for the past few days and the students started to notice. Today she called us on her cell phone during class. She wanted to tell us that she was in Martinique (a French speaking island in the Caribbean) and that she was sending us some pictures of herself there. Obviously I was just acting on the phone and I was the one who photo shopped Fifi's picture onto backgrounds of Martinique. But doing that seemed to be what the kids needed to be engaged to talk and write about clothing on this last Friday before break.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Laying Down the Law

So today I sent my first student to see the principal...

Since I've been teaching 1st grade for a while now my CT is backing off more and sometimes not even coming in the classroom during a class. She saw me teach the first lesson to one class and it went well. So after our short break she decided to stay back in the office and work on some paper work and get some emails sent out. I was feeling great, my next class is always well behaved and speaks tons of French. So I moseyed on down the hall and got set up in the class. The kids were acting well and were calm while I was plugging in all the cables and chords.... all except for one.

He, we'll call him V, was sitting on the carpet, speaking English, trying to stomp on a fly and tie his shoe, all at the same time. Needless to say that was distracting to the other students. But in all fairness I hadn't started class yet. That behavoir didn't stop when I said "bonjour" and got the attention from all the other students. I got the calendar warm-up activity started and addressed V quietly. I told him it was time for French and he needed to focus on himself and on speaking French. I then moved around a bit, staying in that same corner of the carpet listening to other students singing the date and counting and watching V to see if he was checking himself and his attitude. He didn't change his behavior so I walked over to him again to let him know that he needed to go to his table seat. He huffed off and was sitting at his table with his head down.

The class continued. At let me just tell you all, it was a fun class. We were talking about monuments in Paris, doing our made up TPR moves for them and then looking for them on Google Earth. The kids loved looking at Paris and seeing it on the big SMART boards.

Back to the story about V. We had just sung our song about La France and were reviewing the picture cards of the monuments (La Tour Eiffel, Notre Dame, L'Arc de Triomphe, Le Louvre) when one of the girls from the back row came up to me to tell me that V had thrown something at her. Two other kids then held up little metal things saying that the same thing happened to them. My brain was starting to hurt. I had to talk to V but I couldn't just leave the class alone doing nothing. I gave one of my mature and advanced students the job of showing the class the pictures. He did a great job with that I have to say. Meanwhile, I was walking over the the table to pull V into the hall to talk to him about being safe and respectful in the class when the principal walked by. I quickly asked her if she could take him and she did.

I just hate that the choices of this one student made me feel so negative about the class. As a whole, the class was excelling. They spoke so much French and were so engaged in the lesson. I love that they sang the song with me even though I never thaught it to them. And I love that we were able to be fun and a little silly with our made up moves for the monuments but then get calm for the next activity. I love that they got so excited about seeing Paris in their classroom. I just had such a yucky feeling leaving.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Family Life

I really like my CT, I mean I really like her. She's a great person and very easy to relate and talk to. And she is also very good at what she does. Seeing her in action in the classroom has helped me see different techniques and varying methods in real life and not just in the text book.  She's so positive with the kids and has created a great environment to learn. My CT is also very good at helping me with my reflections and debriefings after seeing my lessons. She's also very tactful and constructive with her criticisms.

And, I really like her family. I've met her husband a few times and met one of her kids, who was just so cute, and I've heard so many stories that make me feel like I know her other boy.

Having said all of that, I sometimes feel like her family obligations, which I fully understand, make things a little more difficult for me. For example, in the mornings when I have some questions for her, she's not always around. Some days she arrives at school only a few minutes before we are supposed to start teaching. I completely understand that she has childcare arrangements that prevent her from getting to school by 7:20, I really do. But it also means that after practicing my lessons the night before and thinking up questions that I want to ask her, I run out of time to do so. Sometimes I can squeeze them in. Sometimes I just go with my gut instinct and it all works out and sometimes it doesn't go according to plan. Usually it's not a big deal though.

I think in the end it will make me more independent and self sufficient. But right now it's a little frustrating.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

For the love of puppets.

Other than being so very busy over the past few days (picking up more classes and taking on more responsibilities, being observed by my US, and being involved in after school meetings, just to name a few) my CT has given me the challenge of becoming a puppet master.

I've seen her in action with the puppets, the children LOVE it. They freak out when they see a puppet for the first time. They also freak out if the class puppet has been missing for too long, right now she's in Martinique. Using puppets is a great way to "trick" the kids into hearing more of the TL and to keep them engaged. And right now that's what I need since I am working with the same material for a few more days.

So I've made my foray into the field of the puppets. Sometimes I forget to move the puppet's mouth while it talks, sometimes I forget that I'm wearing the puppet at all. One girl has said "la bouche", which means mouth, a few times to remind me. It's been interesting. Yesterday, I had a total giggle fit in front of a class because what I was doing just all of a sudden seemed so absurd. The class liked it though. I think that they got to see I was a human after all and not some boring adult.

I go home at night and practice my different puppet voices. I also have to practice my technique, I have to animate the puppet more. The students really get attached to this piece of cloth and stuffing. When one of the puppets was reciting a poem for a class and doing the gestures that go along with the words the students said "awww" because they really thought it was cute. Sometimes I'm glad that young children can be so gullible.

Friday, February 17, 2012

First isn't always best.

So I've been noticing this past week or so that being first isn't always ideal.

Let me explain. I started teaching first grade, of which we have three classes. Two times in the week the biggest and most difficult class, Madame G's class to manage comes first (there are a lot of boys who have tons of energy in that class and very few girls or quiet kids). The first time I teach a lesson I see what really worked and what should be changed to work better. It helps too that my CT sees what I do and gives me some advice before I have to teach the same lesson to the other two classes.

I feel really bad for the class that comes first because they are always getting the worst version of my lesson. And the class that really could use the kink-free lesson, Madame G's class, is stuck with it two times out of three.

When I'm done teaching all three lessons and have reflected on them and the differences I always feel better about the second and the best about the third classes. I'm sure that once I become a more seasoned teacher the differences will be a lot smaller and classes like Madame G's class wont suffer as much from coming first.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Busy. All the time.

I haven't posted in a while, probably because things have gotten busy around here. Let me fill you all in...

I have gotten to know all the students' names, which is saying something because I have close to 300 students (!!!). I really love my students. They are so cute and so smart and I even have a soft spot for the wild, energetic ones. Basically I have a soft spot for all of them.

There have been meetings and emails and details galore. This year the fifth grade is taking an end of year test in French. It hasn't happened before in this district so the FLES PLC has been working out a lot of the finer points. There is so much involved in simply administrating this test. We need to organize a time for all 80 or so fifth graders to take the test. We need to reserve all the technology needed, a computer and microphone/headphones for each student. We have a meeting set up with our principal later this week to work out some of those details. Yet another meeting, yay!

I contribute more in planning and in the classroom which has been great. I also started taking over the first grade classes. The first lesson of the day was interesting. The behavior was rowdier than expected which made it hard to teach the lesson according to plan. By the third time I taught it that day I was feeling better about it. It's been interesting since I started taking over, and by interesting I mean not how I imagined it. My CT is really great about giving advice and being critical but constructive. But, she seems to want to jump in a lot when I'm trying to teach. I completely understand that it can be hard to all of a sudden let someone else teach you class but it's making it harder for me to be the authority for the students. I will give it a little more time since I did just start and see if by next week she has eased off more.

It's also been interesting in the world of my lesson plans. The first one I wrote was not usual. We had planned out what to do together in the office during our planning time. I then took my notes home and wrote up the lesson afterwards. That was really hard for me since in the past my lesson planning and writing has been different and I think my plan suffered. The next ones were easier to write and had more details and were in general more complete. It all takes some adjusting though.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Jumping in Feet First

Well sort of.

Today was a delayed opening and we had a school wide meeting. I was surprised when my CT told me that she was only staying for the meeting, which she helped plan, and that she had to leave immediately after because her son was sick and couldn't go to preschool. She had already called a sub but unfortunately the sub didn't speak any French.

She let me know that I should only do what I felt comfortable doing. The substitute was going to be here and that if I didn't feel like teaching I didn't have to. She gave me the sub option, a movie, and told me that it was 100% acceptable if I was too nervous or unsure of teaching an entire class. She also said I could do an activity for part of the time and then we could watch a little bit of the movie.

Because of the delayed opening we only had two third grade classes and the then the usual first grade classes. I decided to try teaching, why not get a feel of it now and just see how it goes? Plus, I had been thinking lately, I am really comfortable with the third grade and totally feel like I could start doing activities with them (secretly I think that third grade is my favorite, shhhh).

So I went ahead with the scheduled lessons for third grade, which were actually different because of the way the schedule is. I have to say that I think I did a really good job with them. They were so well behaved, maybe I bribed them a little with one of the school wide rewards, and they did exactly what we wanted them to do in the lesson.

First grade was different. They had just started a new unit and I don't know the story that they are working with. My CT suggested doing the normal routines at the beginning and then watching the video with them. I did that but I kept stopping the video to ask quick comprehension questions and drawing their attention to certain details. That went well too. The only thing was that the poor sub just sat in the classes all day. It must have been pretty boring for her. But I think it was better for the kids and for me.

I had such high energy after those first two classes. I couldn't believe it worked so well. Maybe I forgot to do this one thing, or maybe I could have spent two more minutes doing this part, but overall, I got my feet wet and I have a lot of positive energy to move forward with.

There's Always Something

Monday (when I wrote this post and forgot to post it) I got home before 4:30 which is early for me. My CT had a dentist appointment and we had already prepped for the next day so we both left around 3:30. As soon as I got home I thought of about a million more things I could have gotten done. I thought of the slides I could have made for one of our review lessons, I thought about how I could have made a game better if only I had used a different color or font or pictures...., I thought about the emails I wanted to send, I thought about the questions I had forgotten to ask. I just remembered a lot that I wanted to get done. But once I was home I wasn't in "teacher mode" anymore and I didn't end up doing any of those things.

I think that I am going to have to learn to accept that once I've gotten something done I will have to move on. I wont be able to work on everything I want to do, there is not enough time for me to perfect it all. Of course there will always be a way to make it better, more exciting, etc. This is going to be difficult for me, I like to be proud of the things that I do (doesn't everyone?). And if I see that something could be done differently, or more importantly, better, I will not necessarily be proud of it. I'm learning how to work in this situation.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Teacher Workday

I had my first teacher workday on Tuesday. As a student I always looked forward to those days because it meant having a day home from school. Now I get a chance to see just how much work gets done on those days...

In the morning we had a meeting with the whole school and broke into groups to discuss a reading that we were given. All of the specials, PE, Music, ant Art plus French had to tag along with other grade levels. The reading really didn't have much to do with our subject but we had to participate. It was interesting seeing how the other teachers work together. I am usually just with my CT in our own little "closet" office and we don't have to work with other teachers to plan. Once a month there is a district wide FLES meeting, which is interesting to see all the elementary language teachers from the district and the issues that are current for them.

Anyways, back to the teacher workday. At the end of the day I told my CT that I was surprised by how tired I was. What had we done all day that made me so exhausted? I asked. Well, we planned. All day. There are so many decisions that had to be made, so many activities that had to be prepared. I was tired from all the mental work that we did. Even though working with the kids can be physically exhausting, acting a certain way and always working to make lessons go smoothly or according to plan can be draining. But a day of mental work, I found out, can be just as draining.

The saying is that a teacher will make about 1500 educational decisions a day. I'm starting to see just how true that saying is.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The First Friday

I made it my first full week! That said, I don't really have that many responsibilities yet. But the transition to waking up early every day and actually having a morning commute is something new I'm adjusting to.

Everyone keeps asking me what it's like to be teaching. I haven't really gotten it through to everyone that this is a gradual process and that I wont be fully taking over for a few weeks. That always disappoints them. I have to try to explain that right now I'm observing and getting to know the school, the staff, the students etc. I kind of act like an assistant in the classroom, which is helpful because I can run back to the office if we forgot something or to the nurse when a kid has a bloody nose, yeah that already happened.

My CT is awesome. We seem to get along really well and she is genuinely interested in seeing me become a great teacher. After a lesson she likes to "debrief". I'm hearing this word a lot which means there is a lot of information coming in. I hope I can remember it all because everything she says seems so practical. I've gotten so many tips about classroom management, student motivation, diverse learners, having backup plans and just being at this school in general.

On Friday morning the fifth graders Skyped with their penpals in France. It was so much fun to watch their reactions when they saw their penpal for the first time face-to-face. Some of the students were really nervous to speak to French students but once they saw how easy it could be, and that my CT was always standing near by to help, they seemed more eager to talk. But the process showed me just how much you have to set up an activity like this. The time difference made coordinating with the other school a little tricky. And a lot of our students didn't know what Skype was before so that needed to be explained. And a few days before the chat my CT told the students what the procedure would be, how they would line up and take turns introducing themselves, and how the chat would go on the other side, and if there was time a few people could have a longer conversation with their penpals if they wanted, etc. So I'm really getting to see how much time and effort and planning it takes for one 25min Skype chat, or just any 25min lesson.