I know that by now everyone else has probably finished. Well, not me. I'm still here, in my school, riding an emotional roller coaster.
On one hand I will be very glad to graduate. I have been looking forward to this for a very long time. I can't wait to get started with "real life".
At the same time, being a real grownup seems a little scary too. I've gotten used to being a student so there is going to be a lot of change this summer.
But the most prominent emotion I'm feeling right now is sadness. Sadness that this phase of my life, career, education, etc., is ending. Especially student teaching.
I love these kids so much. I can't imagine what my days will be like when I stop coming in to school everyday. Where will I get my fill of toothless smiles and goofy comments? On top of that, this week is teacher appreciation week. Getting flowers and adorable hand made cards and notes only seems to make me want to cry more. One of my 1st graders even drew a portrait of me for the teacher mural that they do every year. Today I started to say goodbye to the classes I wont see anymore this week. It has been sad. They have all been so sweet and genuinely happy for me that I am graduating, which makes me happy too. They tell me that they'll miss me, I'm going to miss them too.
And I have grown very close with my mentor. It will be even more strange for me to not see her every day. She has been so unbelievably kind and welcoming and has helped me grow so much as a teacher. I feel incredibly lucky to have gotten the chance to work with someone who is not only nice but who is as good at what they do as my CT is at teaching. We have such a good time teaching and learning from each other, and often just sharing stories about classes or her sons and goofing around on the Internet looking for new material. I also feel confident that I can turn to her when I have questions about my own future classes.
People keep reminding me that this is only the beginning, but this is also my first end of a school year. Or, really more like my first round of goodbyes. So I am just going to ride out all of these ups and downs and try to enjoy the last few days. And also try not to cry in front of the kids.
